Sunday, April 27, 2008

Weekends have suddenly become much more productive in our household. Last Saturday, we were all over town, at the mall and various places and things all day, and spent Sunday afternoon at the lake fishing. And oh it was a beautiful day! We were going to go again this weekend, however yardwork has taken precedence over that. Friday evening, we headed to The Home Depot, I believe the original purpose was because GI Joe wanted an electric or gas landscape edger and a grill, and who the hell else knows what other manly beasts he had wanted, I don't recall lol. On our way through the outdoor area, we noticed they had pre-potted herbs and vegetables. I have been wanting to grow my own veggies for just about forever, so the kids and I looked at all they had to offer while GI Joe gathered his manly things. After perusing a good 50 varieties of tomatoes, we settled on our first choice, Better Bush, says they are perfect for container gardening. Decided to also go for some small tomatoes, and got just some good ol' grape tomatoes. Next we picked out a cucumber plant. Were going to also get a yellow squash plant, however the boys aren't big fans of it, though the evil mommy makes them eat it sometimes anyhow. Decided to pick out one of the bell pepper plants.. All of the plants except for the cucumbers were in peatpots, so there was no trash, there was a small amount of plastic around it, but it says it is biodegradable! Yay for lovin on the earth and shit. Picked out some rather large terra cotta pots, and some organic potting soil. Headed home, after stopping by Firehoue Subs for some yummy dinner because we ended up spending a good deal of time at home depot and had to feed the poor kids before midnight, you know, the whole gremlin/mogwai deal. Got up today, left the boys here, took G and went down to the little nursery near our house, just for the hell of it, figured I needed some gloves anyhow. They had all herbs and veggies on sale for half price for earth week, so I ended up with a damn squash plant anyhow :P Came home, had some lunch, slathered me and my pale offspring with some sunscreen, and we headed out back to our personal jungle. The kids and I were on garden duty, GI Joe was moving a shitload of concrete garden pavers from our patio way out to our toolshed. Yeah....they've been sitting there for many months where he pulled them up from the rose garden area......uh can we say black widows?? There were several BIG ones, some with egg sacs attached EWWWW. Definitely tons of fun, particularly with the kids. They were ceremoniously murdered via big ass shovel or jetstream water spray. Good riddance. Got my plants all potted up, have them sitting out at the back edge of the patio. One of the tomato plants we bought already had a tiny little gumball sized tomato growing on it, so I'm pretty hopeful that this will all turn out ok. If so, then I'll work on getting a few more things. I can't wait to walk out my back door and grab a ripe, juicy, warm from the sun tomato. And cucumbers....oh, I remember when I was little, my mammy (that would by grandmother) had a garden, and she had cucumbers and I think tomatoes, I don't know what else she had, but I remember those cucumbers were amazing, we'd go and pick some, bring them in, give them a quick rinse and just bite into them. And my other grandma, they had a small garden when I was even younger, and I would pick green onions, and eat them whole, dirt and all. Still can't figure out why the hell no one said hey, let's wash that off first!! But oh well, I'm alive lol. Ok, so back from memory lane- we finished up outside, with the planting and the spiders and the killing and the spraying off the patio, came in, everyone showered, and guess where we went? If you guessed Wal-Mart, then you'd damn well be wrong, coz I fuckin hate wal-mart and just recently stepped foot in one after not having been in one in over a year. However, if you guessed The Home Depot, you'd be correct. Why, you ask, did we go again after just having gone and spent hundreds of dollars yesterday? Why, to spend hundreds more!! Only logical answer. This time, our journey was to acquire a trailer for my Expedition, so husband can haul off junk, like tree branches and big things and stuff and junk. Go, look, acquire. Hook it up to the truck, with help from our friendly home depot associates, and most of the lights don't work. Starts pouring down rain again. So we pull up to the front of the store where they have the big overhang in the loading area. Friendly home depot associates and husband spend a good hour poking and prodding and hooking and unhooking and shit and yelling instructions to me such as "brakes. lights off. lights back on. brakes again. ok, left blinker. now right blinker. kill the lights again. no seriously quick kill the liahahahaaaaahhhhhgghhhhbzzzzzbzzzzz". Haha, very funny, friendly home depot associate. Other guy says this is the 3rd trailer they have had recently that was all fuckered up. So we can either get a refund, or leave it there and wait til next week for their trailer guy to come to town to look at it and try to fix it. Decide on refund. Unhook shit. Park. Husband goes in to get refund. Kids and I are parked in front of store waiting. And waiting. 15 minutes goes by, and mama is getting more unhappy. Mama gets out, locks car, and runs in, asks hubby "WTF dude, WTF??". Husband tells wife there is a little problem because they can't legally refund us for a trailer according to GA law, but they have a way around it and are working on it, and for mama to calm down and go back to the truck. Apparently he saw the smoke coming out of my nose. Seeing as my kids are out there (ok, J is 8 1/2 so it isn't like I left poor litlle G alone, and it was like 15 feet away, and locked! so shoot me), I go back out. But I start her up, and park the bitch,and drag the kids into the store for the scoop. Eventually got it all settled after much backwards ass loopholing and paperwork. Went to tractor place to look at trailers. Oh, and before we went to home depot, we went by one of the pool stores and got a pool booklet. Coz we want a pool. After over 4 years in this house with this big ass backyard, I guess we finally want to do something with it lol. Tomorrow, husband wants to mow the lawn, it's a little rough (read: you may lose small toddlers in it). And I have nothing left to plant :( Maybe I should go buy one of those cantaloupe plants they had at the nursery :P

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A new installment of "my kid pukes SO much"

So, some of you that have known me online and in real life for awhile, particularly those few unfortunate souls who have had the displeasure of witnessing this phenomenon firsthand, know that my Pork Chop has a sensitive gag reflex (ok, this was posted first to my myspace blog, in which I actually have more than like 2 people read lol so that first part was obviously addressed to them, some of these poor people have heard many tales very similar to the scenario you are about to read about). He will say this himself, to anyone that will listen. In other words, this kid pukes like you wouldn't believe. In the past, it has had the tendency to come and go in spurts, and would happen very often in restaurants....on tables, on the floor in front of strangers tables, from one side of the restaurant all the way to the bathroom - there was a time when we thought we would either be banned from Outback Steakhouse, or made to work there because of the amout of t-shirts they had given us on different ocassions for our poor little puker to wear after he ruined his clothes. Ok, enough reminiscing....on with the story. He has gotten so much better about it, and the frequency has reduced, and it's been a long time since it has happened. Well, he broke his no-puke streak last night. Around midnight, I heard him cough once, and I didn't think anything of it (though in the past, I would have thought "oh shit, here it comes" coz it always started with a cough.....). A few minutes later, he comes out to the living room to inform us that he puked everywhere. And I look more closely at him, and it is everywhere. All over his shirt, face, arms, shorts, legs. I didn't even want to see his room. So GI Joe sent him off to the shower, and we go to survey the damage. I gagged about 2 steps into the room. See, since I was pregnant with G, puke is one thing I just can't deal with anymore. I myself developed quite a sensitive gag reflex when I was pregnant with her, and it was smells that set me off. So, I left the room, and set about finding some means to protect myself from the offending odor. I saw an Old Navy sweatshirt, toddler size, n my dresser, and grabbed it up, folded it just so, and tied that bitch around my face. I have pictures to prove it, but unfortunately my USB cable is in G's room, and she is asleep. He had puked on the wall, all over his comforter and stuffed animals, on the sheets. It was horrible, and it reeked of spoiled milk and chocolate. I recalled a few minutes later that he had hot chocolate before bed. Ew. And before that, we had Mexican food. Double ew. It was awful. It took me 2 loads of laundry to get it all washed. And there were a few stuffed animals that did not make it out of that battle alive. One of which he was very upset about losing, so I searched for it on amazon and already ordered it for the poor kid. Some Ty fish thing. I could go on and on about the horribleness and disgustingness of the whole episode, but hey, I'm sure you've read more than enough :P